This One Time, At Beer Fest...

Originally posted on 9/3/08

You know that Seinfeld episode that takes place in the Chinese Restaurant? Jerry, Elaine, and George are waiting forever for a table and Elaine comments that she’s so hungry she could just go up and eat right off someone’s plate. Jerry bets her $50 to do it–but she can’t say a word. She just has to walk up to a table, grab an eggroll off their plate, take a bite, and walk away. So she goes for it, and as she’s walking toward their table she has this crazy look on her face and this inner monologue going in her head–something like: “Hi, I know this is crazy but my friends bet me to take a bite of your food, but I can’t talk, I just have to do it without asking…” But she can’t bring herself to do it–she just runs from the table laughing.

Okay.

So G and I were recently at a beer tasting tasting festival–it was my first time going and G’s second. As we’re waiting in line to get in, I notice a bunch of people wearing these pretzel necklace things–twisted pretzels strung on a string and worn around their necks. “Well that’s interesting,” I say. And G replies, “Oh yeah, I saw a bunch of people doing that last year. It’s to help cleanse their palette between tastings.”

Well fast forward 5 hours and who knows how many 2 oz beer tasters later. Things are winding down, I’ve got a good buzz going, and I’m hungry as hell. We’re sitting down at a picnic table when I spot a guy about 20 yards away wearing a pretzel necklace. I think to myself, “I should just go up to him and chomp down on that necklace.” Which then made me think of that Seinfeld episode, which then made me burst into laughter for seemingly no reason. G and our friends ask, “What’s so funny??” so I tell them what I was thinking and they say, “You should totally do it!”

So I do.

And in true Elaine fashion I’ve got the whole inner monologue thing going on in my head as I’m walking up to him: “Hi. You don’t know me, but I’m drunk, and I’m starving, and I just want a bite of your pretzel necklace, and please don’t hurt me…” I get up to him, grab his necklace, and chomp down. He was so stunned, and I was laughing so hard I could barely eat my pretzel!

And as luck would have it–our friend Andy was there with his camera and caught a picture of me in action!