Oprah's On--And We Might Be, Too!

Our Oprah episode airs tomorrow! Look for me and Jill in the audience somewhere behind Oprah's big hair!

Returning to Work: Part 2

Check out Returning to Work: Part 1.

I never thought I could be a stay-at-home mom. For a long time I couldn’t even picture myself as a mother, so being one that stayed home with her children all day wasn’t even a consideration in my mind. When I told my boss I was pregnant with Kate, his first question was, “Will you be back?”

“Of course!” I laughed. The thought that I would be anything but a mom who worked outside the home fulltime never even crossed my mind. I had a great job that I loved and that was meaningful, and there was even a part of me that thought I might cut my maternity leave short and return to work early.

But then Kate was born and everything changed.

If you read my Returning to Work: Part 1 post, you know how difficult that transition was for me. Everyone kept telling me it would get easier with time, but it didn't. And did I even want it to get easier? What would that mean about me as a mom? That I was losing my connection with my child? That I cared more about my job than about her??

These were the questions that tugged at my gut and overshadowed the other, quieter questions that I tried to keep silenced: Am I crazy to quit my job during these tough economic times? What if I don’t like being a stay-at-home mom? Am I really ready to walk away from my career? Will I ever have the opportunity to be in a position as great as the one I’m in now? What kind of financial stress would this put on my family--on my marriage?

Paying attention to that last question is what finally helped me find my answers. Through our talks, I knew the idea of becoming a one-income family weighed heavily on G’s mind. I have no doubt that it’s something we could’ve made work--but at what cost? G felt as strongly about the financial security of our family as I did about having more time with Kate. How could I possibly sacrifice his piece of mind for my own? That answer was simple: I couldn’t.

But I also couldn’t continue working fulltime. It was killing me to be apart from Kate, and quite honestly I was likely on the fast-track to getting fired at the rate as I was performing at work. I decided I needed to find a part-time job, or at the very least find a new fulltime job somewhere with the option to eventually move into a part-time position (there were no part-time positions at my current organization).

Two months after returning to work, I fought back the tears as I walked into my boss’s office and said, “I have some difficult news.”

He sighed and replied, “I knew this was coming.”

What started out as one of the most difficult conversations of my life eventually turned into one of the best opportunities I have ever been given. When I explained that I needed to leave--not because I didn’t love my job--but because I needed more time at home with my daughter, my boss asked, “What can we do to make this work?”

That was three months ago.

Today, I am so incredibly grateful to say that I currently work a 32-hour work week, split among four 8-hour days. I have every Monday off (Mondays are now called it “Momdays” in our house) which I spend playing and laughing and cuddling with Kate.

I cannot even begin to describe what this reduced work schedule has done for me. To say it has been life-changing is an incredible understatement. I finally feel like a Mom who also has a job, versus a Worker who also has a child. I get to spend more time with my beautiful daughter, and I get to keep a job that I love and worked hard for. With this change in my schedule, Kate is now home four days per week and goes to daycare for three (G’s mom Pam continues coming to our house to watch Kate one day per week--something she’s done since I first returned to work, and that means so much to us).

I wasn’t sure if having just one day off per week would feel like enough, but amazingly it does. There are times when I get glimpses of what it would’ve been like had I quit my job to be a stay-at-home mom, and that’s when I realize I made the right decision to find more of a middle ground.

When I am with Kate she has my undivided attention. No TV. No phone. No internet. Just us. I truly savor our time together and I’m not sure I'd be saying that if I were a fulltime stay-at-home mom. I've realized this during times when I’m home with Kate for several days in a row with little to no break, and I find myself starting to take our time for granted--turning on the TV and watching it instead of her, sneaking peaks at my laptop and ignoring her attempts to get my attention, or wishing it was already naptime so I could have a little me time--and that's not the kind of mother I want to be. I'm proud to say that what Kate and I miss in quantity, we more than make up for in quality.

Just as I reluctantly realized that daycare is a valuable experience for Kate, I’ve also realized there is value in us having some time apart. I get to miss her. I get to look forward to coming home to see her. I get to fill up that other side of myself that likes to wear high heels and makeup, have adult conversations, and make a difference in more lives than just my own. But best of all, I get to have a happy family that truly values our time together.

From the reader feedback I've received, I know many of you are currently going through this same struggle, or will be soon. It is a fiercely personal decision and you will have no shortage of people weighing in on how they think you should shape your life. Take your time, listen to your heart, and you'll get there. I'm grateful to say I've found what feels right for me and my family, and I wish you all the best for you and yours.

Kate: 7 months

I’ve decided to change things up a bit with Kate’s monthly posts. To date, I’ve been titling her posts with the month number that she just turned, but reflecting back on the previous month’s events. So when Kate turned 6 months old, for example, I posted a blog titled “Kate: 6 Months” showed her in her 6 month onesie, but wrote about things that happened over the previous four weeks--when she was only 5 months old.

I can see how that could be confusing.

So now I’ve decided to switch it up and make her monthly posts’ titles, pictures, and content all about the same month, with all three reflecting back on the previous month.

You with me?

Here we go: Kate turned 8 months old on September 9th, and here’s a look back at all the things she learned and did when she was 7 months old, along with a repost of her 7 month photo:

Personalized onesie made by Amber from The Cotton Cupcake Shoppe.
The biggest news in our world? KATE SAID HER FIRST WORD! And you’ll never guess what it was…or maybe you will:

“Mama.”

Oh, I was so proud!

For a while now she’s been making “M” sounds and going, “Mmmm, Mmmm, Mmmmmm…” and then she moved on to babbling, “Ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma.” But on Saturday, August 14th she actually said it: “Mama.”

She had just woken up from her morning nap and we were sitting in the rocking chair in her nursery. She finished her bottle, was sitting on my lap, and I said, “Mama?” trying to see if she’d say it back (I’ve been doing this with her since birth. Shocker, right?) and to my surprise she responded, “Mama.”

I COULDN’T BELIEVE IT! I was stunned and amazed and thrilled, and quickly looked around to see if anyone else heard it! Of course, there were no witnesses, but I didn’t care, I just kept at it:

Me: Mama?
Kate: Mama.

Me: Mama?
Kate: Mama.

She repeated “Mama” back to me THREE SEPARATE TIMES, clear as day, and perfectly enunciated.

I’ve never been more proud.

In the days that followed she continued to do more of her “Ma-ma-ma-ma-ma-ma” babbling, but occasionally she'd stop and say just “Mama” clear as day. We don’t think she understands yet that “Mama” actually means me, but she certainly understands that it gets my attention which she likes. It's been hard capturing it on video because as soon as I turn on the camera the little stinker clams up and tries to go after it, but you can sort of hear her saying it in this video.

Another big first this month is that Kate figured out how to go from laying down to sitting up all on her own! She’s been sitting up without support since she was five months old, but she needed us to put her in that position first. Well not anymore! I wish I could say we saw the first time she moved into a sitting up position on her own, but we didn’t. It happened one afternoon when she was laying on her quilt on the living room floor, playing with her toys. G was sitting next to her, but he had his head turned to talk to me in the kitchen. All of a sudden he turned back to Kate and exclaimed, “She’s sitting up!”

I didn’t understand what the big deal was because she’d been sitting on her own for several weeks.

“No,” Greg said. “She did it on her own! I didn’t touch her!”

We cheered and celebrated Kate’s big accomplishment, and although she wasn’t interested in giving us a repeat performance that night, soon she was getting herself into a seated position all the time--gotta love mobility!

In related mobility news, Kate continues to army crawl to get to where she wants to go, and currently has no interest in lifting her belly off the ground to do a “regular” crawl. She is also increasing interested in what’s going on around her, and if you pick her up to carry her anywhere she insists on being carried facing out and will squirm and twist in your arms until she’s in that position. Such a curious little girl.

We have given up on swimming lessons because we think the indoor pool, with all its other classes going on at the same time, tons of kids squealing, instructors shouting, etc. was just too over-stimulating for Kate. She did great for her first class, but quickly went downhill in the following weeks and it wasn’t long before she’d cry inconsolably until we took her out of the pool. G and I decided to stop going because we didn’t want Kate to learn a negative association with water. She continues to play in the wading pool and go in the lake with G when we’re at his parents’ house, and she still LOVES those things, so we’ll stick with that for now.

Kate started on finger foods this month, and she loves feeding herself! We started her on Puffs (infant cereal that’s like Cheerios, but dissolves quicker in her mouth), bananas, and avocado bites. She’s got really good fine motor skills and seemed to master that pincher grip pretty quickly. She is also getting really good at drinking out of her sippy cup, although we still help her a bit so it doesn’t spill all over her. Kate has limited sucking ability, so we needed to remove the valve from her sippy--which means its no longer spill-proof--so if Kate tips her cup upside down water spills everywhere. She does pretty good with the actual drinking part, but she needs help setting her cup back down without spilling all over her highchair tray.

One last bit of new is that Kate gave me her first kiss! It was actually more of an open-mouthed slobber on my face, but the intention was there and I loved it!

Other 7 Month Stats
Bedtime: 6:30pm
Wake Up Time: Between 6:00 and 6:30am
Naps: 2x/day for a total of 3-4 hours/day
Bottles: She is offered 7.5 oz bottles 4x/day (when she wakes up in the morning, wakes up from her first nap, wakes from her second nap, and before bedtime)
Meals/Solids: Eats breakfast at 7am, lunch between 12-1pm, dinner at 5:30pm
New Foods: Carrots, Peaches, Squash, Oatmeal, Yogurt (gave her a diaper rash so we ended it), Wheat Germ (used to coat slippery finger foods), Tofu, Graham Crackers (used to coat slippery finger foods).
Developmental Milestones & "Firsts": Said her first word ("Mama"), can go from laying down to a sitting position on her own, gave Mom her first kiss.
Favorite Toys: Move & Crawl Ball, B. Squeeze Blocks

Floral Skirt

Considering today is the first day of fall (my birthday--woot!), I decided I should probably post this outfit while it still has some seasonal relevance. I’ve been trying to wear more skirts because I’m rather fond of how the fuller ones hide my belly!


Top: Old Navy
Skirt: Gap
Belt: Came with the skirt
Shoes: Payless

Oprah Day!

Did you see me on Oprah's Farewell Season Premiere today?!?!

'Cuz I was totally on it.

But before we get to that, let's back it up. Jill and I arrived at Harpo Studios (Oprah's home away from home--and I may or may not have set up my own little sleeping area there, too) at 10am. The check-in line went quickly and soon we were escorted to a holding room where all the audience members had to hang out and stare at each other for an hour prior to being seated in the studio. I have no idea what the purpose of this process was, but honestly who cares? IT WAS OPRAH DAY!

The holding area was a long narrow room lined with rows of chairs and oversized pictures of Oprah with some of her favorite guests on the wall: John Travolta, Valentino, Tina Turner, Nelson Mandela, the Sex and the City girls...and Barry Manilow.

Barry Manilow?

Every time I saw that Barry Manilow picture I couldn’t help but sing the, “One of these things is not like the other...” song from Sesame Street in my head.

Finally our hour wait time was up and the Oprah staff members--who were wonderful by the way (except the one who asked if I was pregnant--she can go to hell)--announced it was time to start seating us in the studio. “But first,” they announced, “we’re going to call a few names and if we call the name your party’s reservation is under, please come to the front of the room.”

Jill and I looked at each other. “Ooooh, what could this be about?” we excitedly wondered as they started calling off names, and groups of attractive, beautifully dressed women started heading toward the front of the room.

Pffft…figures, I thought as I stood there disgruntled and realizing these were the people who were going to get prime seating. “They don’t even look surprised,” I said to Jill. “They must’ve known ahead of time that their names would be called.”

And then we heard it:

“Dusty R_______.”

Jill and I stared at each other in disbelief! They picked us. US! We cheered and celebrated and didn't make any attempt at playing it cool as we made our way through the crowd of people toward the front of the room, applied our lip gloss, and became part of the hand-selected few to get prime--potentially on-camera--audience seating.

But let’s be honest--there wasn’t a bad seat in the house. The studio was surprisingly small and intimate, and soon the audience was perfectly placed and it was time for the audience warm-up.

Meet Sally Lou Loveman.

Look up "charisma" in the dictionary and I'm pretty sure you'll find the photo, email address, and personal cell phone number of Sally Lou Loveman. This woman oozes charisma like she's never had a facial. She was the staff person who warmed up the crowd, and honestly, she could have had her own show; Jill and I loved her!

Soon, it was Oprah time.

(Please pause for dramatic effect.)

Oprah.

(Pause. Drama. Drama.)

Oprah!

(Audience applause!!!!)

In she walked: Oprah. Looking beautiful, and important, and incredibly interested in my personal life story.

Oprah.

She was wearing a leopard or cheetah print (I'm sorry, I don't speak animal) pencil skirt, an orange-ish/rust-ish colored top with a tie at the neck, and a brown cardigan. She looked fantastic. She really did--and you know I was trying to pick out the flaws.

She walked in wearing slipper flats and accepting audience praise and attention and hysterics, said hello, and then stood center stage reading notes for the day's taping while a cast member removed her flats and replaced them with high-heeled Christian Louboutin's.

Oprah's comments about her shoes when the cameras weren't rolling was probably my favorite part of the day:

"I've got about ten more minutes in these shoes," she told staff members while they fussed to get things ready for a scene they wanted to film with Oprah standing.

"These shoes were made for sitting," she later confided to the audience when once again she was being asked to stand but preferred to sit.

Other Oprah Favorite Moments included when she first took center stage and a staff member was fussing over the tie on the front of her shirt. "Come on!" she teased, "Hooooow many waaaaays can you tiiiiie a bow?" And then she turned to the audience and joked, "I've dressed myself for how many years?"

The show was great (it was about the ABC TV series Modern Family) but without question all my favorite moments were those times the cameras weren't rolling. I loved listening to Oprah's side conversations with her staff members and her chats with the audience ("You look just like you do from my couch," she kidded.)

The show could have been a live show it honestly ran that smoothly. There were no "CUT!"s and no "Let's shoot that again"s. It was amazingly suave and efficient. When the taping was finished--quite possibly exactly one hour from the time the taping had begun--Oprah kicked off her Louboutin's, relaxed, and chatted with the audience.

And here's where I admit I was never exactly Oprah's biggest fan.

Oh, don't get me wrong! I have the greatest admiration for her philanthropy, I'm beyond impressed with her career, and I fully realize that attending a taping of her show was a once in a lifetime opportunity--I was just never what you'd consider an Oprah fanatic.

But now I might be.

I could have kicked off my own shoes and listened to Oprah talk--off camera, and uncensored--forever. This was when I got it.

I get it.

I GET IT PEOPLE!

This woman is truly amazing. There's no other word for it. She talked about her upcoming Kennedy Center Honors this December, when she will be honored for her work as a performing artist along with the likes of Paul McCartney:

"Paul McCARTNEEEEEEEEEEY," she yelled in amazement, her "E"s sounding more like "A"s.

"If you're watching that night," she said, "I assure you that I will behave--because that is what I do--but know that I will be coming OUT OF MY SKIN!!"

"Paul McCARTNEEEEEEEEEEY!!!!!"

"I had the biggest crush on Paul McCartney," Oprah went on to explain. "Growing up, I had posters of him all over my wall and I dreamed about marrying him. I was just a black girl from Milwaukee with a mother on welfare, and Paul McCartney was a Beatle!!...and now we're being honored on the same day."

If that doesn't inspire you, you need to check your pulse.

Oprah continued answering audience questions (her middle name is Gail) but all too soon, our Oprah Day had come to an end.

I reluctantly reveal that we did not receive anything for an audience giveaway (quite possibly the most asked question I've had since announcing I was at the show), but I'm fully aware that just the opportunity to be at the taping of an Oprah show--and the opportunity to sit and listen to Oprah, up close and personal--is an amazing gift all on its own.

Plus I got to be on network TV.

Like I said in the beginning, Jill and I made it in the Oprah Farewell Season Premiere episode! Oprah filmed a short clip for her premiere on the day that we were there, so you can actually see us in the clip where Oprah is surprising the middle school teacher. Look for us at about the 36 minute mark when Oprah is saying, "Hello Hesket Middle Schoolers!" We're just over her left shoulder.

You'd probably get a better view of us if it wasn't for Oprah being in the way.

Camera hog.

If you missed today's episode, you'll quite likely be seeing a lot of us when the Modern Family Episode we were at airs on Wednesday, September 29th. I'll be the pregnant-looking one in the turquoise cardigan, and Jill is sitting to my right with short, blonde, curly hair and a solid orange top. I'm pretty sure we'll be over Oprah's left shoulder in every shot when she's talking to the camera to her guests who are appearing via satellite.

And finally (is anyone still reading?) here we are on Oprah Day! Cameras weren't allowed inside Harpo Studios, so Jill and I had to take pictures outside:

Giving my best "O" face outside the Oprah Store across the street.
Okay, fine. I do look pregnant. But that hooker can still kiss my ass.
Even though we didn't win the trip to Australia, we still love you Oprah! But seriously, our calendars are wide open and our passports are valid--call us.
Update: Check out my All Things G&D Facebook page for a screen shot of Jill and I on Oprah's Farewell Season Premiere!

Oprah Was A Blast!

We had so much fun at the Oprah show today! I'm home now, but exhausted from the long day of traveling, cheering, and smiling, so it's bedtime for me. I'll be sure to post full details of the day's events soon!

Operation Oprah

HOLY SHIT YOU GUYS!

Please pardon the use of all caps and my current favorite (but seldom said aloud these days) swear word, but I have big news to share...

I’M GOING TO A TAPING OF THE OPRAH SHOW TOMORROW!

About a week ago I signed up for an “I could be a last minute audience member if needed" list, and this morning I got an email confirming that I got tickets...AND I STILL HAVEN’T STOPPED SHAKING!

I’m seriously so excited.

You can blame the all-caps typing on the shaking.

I need a drink.

So the taping is tomorrow and I’m bringing my friend Jill since we signed up for tickets together and both had that, “You’ll never get picked, but dammit, if you do, you better bring me!” look in our eyes when we clicked our way to this once in a lifetime opportunity.

Oh! And Greg! Yes, I need to give credit to my husband Greg because this truly, honestly, was all his idea. We were watching TV and a commercial about it being Oprah’s Farewell Season came on...

Me: Wouldn’t it be so neat to attend a taping of the Oprah show?
G: You should try to get tickets.
Me: Yeah, I’ll get right on that.

(What can I say? I’m a skeptic.)

Moments later G informed me that he registered me on Oprah.com and a few days later I was signing up for last minute tickets...which brings us back to today.

I’m still shaking.

And still in need of a drink.

Since I can’t think straight (as you have probably noticed) I decided we needed a plan. Here’s what I've got so far:

OPERATION OPRAH
Dusty & Jill’s plan to attend a taping of the Oprah show and then quite possibly take over the world.
Tonight
6pm: Work out. (I’ve heard the camera adds ten pounds which means I need to lose twenty by tomorrow if I’m going to be Oprah ready.)

7:30pm: Our second Operation Oprah meeting (the first was when I ran down to her office screaming, “We got in! We got in!”) at The Draft House Tavern (yes, a bar--I told you I needed a drink) to discuss what we're going to wear and our strategy for charming the pants off the people who determine the audience seating arrangement.

10pm: Try very hard to get some sleep.

11pm: Try harder.

11:59pm: Do you really want dark circles for Oprah? Get to sleep dammit!

Tomorrow
5am: Wake up, get ready, and try to refrain from screaming, “Oprah, here we come!”

6am: OPRAH HERE WE COME!

6:05am: Starbucks.

6:05am-10:30am: Jill and I drive to Chicago and talk nonstop about how excited we are. No texting allowed.

10:30am: Arrive at Harpo Studios. The fun begins!

11am-3pm: Attend taping of the Oprah show. Try not to explode from excitement. Become Oprah’s new best friend. (Sorry Gayle.)

3pm: Take over the world.

Like I said, it’s a rough draft. We’ll hammer out the finer points over pints tonight--but not too many! Nobody wants a hangover on Oprah Day.

What am I forgetting? Anything?

I need to do laundry!

I need to shave my legs!

I NEED A DRINK!

Things Loved in August

1. It sounds like many of you can relate to the woes of a post-baby body, so let me share my current favorite pair of jeans--Gap's Perfect Boot Jeans:


See that wider waistband? It works wonders at keeping my tummy contained! It didn't take me long to realize my typical low-rise jeans were giving me a muffin top with my morning coffee. Not cool. A lesser woman would have just stopped eating, but I went shopping instead--and found my perfect, modern pair of "mom" jeans! They still have that low-rise look that I love, but the wider waistband provides that little extra coverage that I need. Those double buttons work double-time at keeping things in check and this Mama loves 'em for it!

2. Along the lines of sharing my favorite post-baby jeans, let me tell you about my new favorite bra--Gap's Favorite Uplift Bra.

[No picture for this one. It's a bra, people--you know what they look like.]

Considering how much I love Gap's clothes, I'm surprised it took me this long to buy one of their bras. But like everything else south of my eyebrows, the girls have changed. They went from normal (pre-baby), to HOLYSHITICOULDBEAPORNSTAR (nursing), to their current condition: flaps of skin I need to fold up and stuff inside an A cup (FML). The good news is I found a bra that actually makes my deflated baby feeders look somewhat perky again! I see the size 32D is already sold out (I can't take credit for that) but it looks like all my A, B, and C girls are still in luck.

3. My KitchenAid Food Processor


I had this dream of providing my daughter a wholesome, 100%, all-natural diet. A dream that got slightly disrupted when she was two months old, struggling with reflux, and needing medication added to her breast milk. A dream that was all-out shattered one month later when she rejected my breast milk and needed to go on a 100% formula diet. It was tough, but I licked my wounds and patiently waited for my chance to reclaim my dream--and it's finally here! We've started Kate on solid foods and I've been having a blast making all her baby food from scratch thanks to the help of my handy, can't-live-without-it KitchenAid food processor!

4. Seeing packages on my doorstep.


Isn't it the BEST FEELING to come home and find a little package waiting for you on your doorstep? It's like a little present for your porch...and you. Win win! I get downright giddy when I see a UPS truck coming up my hill or a FedEx guy turning into our neighborhood. Ooh, who's the lucky house? Maybe it will be MINE?!?! Sometimes when I get free shipping on a site and need several things, I'll space my purchases out over a few days, and then a week later I get to come home to packages on my doorstep several days in a row--Eeeeeeee!

5. Pretzel M&Ms


They hooked me with the Peanut M&Ms, solidified their spot on my favorite candy list with their Peanut Butter M&Ms...and now this. Isn't the pretzel/salt/chocolate combination one of the most incredible flavor combinations EVER CREATED? My ass is grateful they didn't think of this sooner, but it looks like I'll be wearing those new Gap jeans (#1) for quite some time at this rate...