Things Loved in February: Academy Awards Edition

Since the Academy Awards ushered out the end of February, this awards show addict is having a hard time thinking of things loved in February that didn't revolve around the word "Oscar."  So in honor of Hollywood's big night I'm dedicating this monthly "Things Loved" post to talking smack about people I'll never meet my favorite Oscar moments!

In a rare "Things Loved" twist this list will be in order of my love, counting down to #1!!

You look about as excited as James Franco.

Whatever, let's begin.

#5.  I thought Natalie Portman looked all sorts of cute and pregnant, and I'm glad she took home the naked gold man, blah, blah, blah.  Me and everyone else.  Moving on...

Next time lose the ear tassles, mmkay Nat?

#4.  I loved loved loved seeing 14-year-old Hailee Steinfeld (Best Supporting Actress nominee for her role in True Grit) dressed age-appropriately for the evening.  She looked adorable, which is exactly how a 14-year-old girl should look.  Adorable--NOT sexy!  Are you listening all you teenaged soon-to-be-pregnant hookers out there??


Photo credit: Hailee and Natalie's photos from http://www.eonline.com/

 #3.  Gwyneth Paltrow.


This, and all remaining photos credit of:  http://www.oscars.org/

 I love her.  I really do.  I love her because the fact that she is slouching EVERY DAMN TIME I SEE HER simply makes me feel better about myself and my ability to stand erect.  Thanks Gwyn--keep up the Academy Award winning work.

#2.  Anne Hathaway.

If you've been paying attention around here you know that I've turned into an Accidental Anne Lover.  So yes, OF COURSE I had to include her in this Academy Awards Edition of my "Things Loved" series!

But I'm not going to lie--it was hard. 

I tried so hard to love what she was wearing so I could at least say, "Ooh, I loved this dress!" posted along with a fabulous picture.  I waited for the perfect little joke or monologue so I could be all, "Ha ha ha, isn't my Anne so cute and clever?"  I waited all night, ready to grasp at the flimsiest straw--but it never came. 

Until.

I realized she was drunk.

Oh yes.  Anne Hathaway throwing back a bottle of wine prior to hosting the Oscars explains everything--and that, my friends, is just one more thing that I can love about her.

I actually did like this dress, but she looked so damn uncomfortable in it.  She kept clutching the jewels like she was afraid they were going to fall off! 

#1.  Melissa Leo dropping the F-bomb during her acceptance speech. 

I'll be honest, I didn't even know who Melissa Leo was before Sunday night...but anyone who accidentally drops an F-bomb on the biggest night of her life with millions of people watching is A-ok in my book.  I f**king loved it. 

In related I Can't Keep My Mouth Shut news, I thought Nicole Kidman looked awful and Scarlett Johannson looked like she rolled out of bed and threw on something from a Victoria's Secret catalog.  Lastly, to borrow from my good friend Melissa Leo:  WTF, Sharon Stone?