I had a serious craving for wine yesterday, but–like a true wino–my wine rack was empty. So I decided I’d pick up a bottle on my way home from work when–gasp–I realized I didn’t have my ID on me! I’d given it to G to put in his wallet over the weekend and never got it back from him. And of course this would be the night he had plans and wouldn’t be home until late. Now I don’t know about your state, but mine is a “we card everyone” state when it comes to alcohol purchases. No ID = no sale.
Well, desperate times call for desperate measures, and luckily I had some resources at my disposal. I sauntered on down to my friend Jill’s office and asked her a question I didn’t think I’d ever need to ask at the age of 29:
“Will you carry out for me tonight?”
Jill is not only my friend, but also my co-worker, carpool companion, teammate, drinking buddy, personal therapist, and–according to G–my wife. And she was graciously willing to add wine supplier to that list.
On our way home from work we stopped at a nearby wine shop/coffee house/bakery to complete the transaction. Now I have to admit that even though I’m 29–and Jill’s 30, in case you’re wondering (she likes it when I mention it)–and well into legal drinking age, I couldn’t help but feel a little deviant about this whole covert carry-out operation. I debated staying in the car, but who can resist the wine shop/coffee house/bakery triple tease? Not this girl. While wandering the aisles looking for a good bottle of chardonnay, I waited until I was sure no one was looking to discreetly hand her my cash. At the checkout counter I feigned interest in some coffee beans and kept my distance just enough that I probably raised suspicion instead of lowering it. And then we giggled like school girls as we left–waiting to do the actual exchange of goods until safely in the car of course.
That’s right–we’re rebels. And our deviant streak is just beginning. We’re thinking tonight we might break curfew and prank call some teachers. Maybe steal a few garden gnomes. Who knows where the night might lead? We’re unpredictable like that.
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That’s hilarious!!! You’re such a little rebel.
As long as you don’t spork your neighbors, you should be okay. :o)
Oooh! Spork the neighbors–good one!! *adding it to the list*
I have never heard the term, “Will you carry out for me” before. Ah, the beauty of living in different regions of the same country. You’re too funny. Couldn’t you have given her the money in the car? We all need a friend like Jill!
First, I must fly to WI to hang with you. Stat.
Second, I would be thrilled to be carded. Like seriously hug that person thrilled. Haven’t been carded in years. Seriously.
And this post made me ROFL.
I just lived this. The day I got laid off, I beelined for the liquor store, but had misplaced my ID. Didn’t realize until I was paying, and the guy wasn’t gonna budge. I had tears in my eyes: “Please, I just got laid off and I REALLY need this bottle of wine. I SWEAR I’m old enough – 19 year olds don’t have jobs that lay you off.” I think he sold to me just to get me out the door.
Great friend!
My question is who the heck invented the wine rack, all that would do to me was remind me that I am a wino who can’t keep wine in the house.
I hope you enjoyed your wine!
*getting all choked up*
Now that’s what I call a true friend.
This was freaking hilarious to read, D!! I’ve totally been there =)
I’m back. Because now I’m worried.
What is a wino who has five or six cases of wine in her home? Because…that would be me. We are always surrounded by several cases of wine.
*backsoutoftheroomslowly*
LOL Dawn–I’m pretty sure that would make YOU a connoisseur.
And that would make ME green w/envy. :giggle
Every time I try to stock up it only ends in empty wine racks before long. I need to take a cue from you and replinish as I go!
You’ve been “Thankfully” tagged. Check it out.
Hey D, I just nominated you for a Kreativ blogger award. How I could I not after loving your drapes so much???
I have never heard the term, “Will you carry out for me” before. Ah, the beauty of living in different regions of the same country. -DITTO!
Hilarious story!
I have to ask if ‘Will you carry out for me’ is actually a saying in your parts? Because well, your parts are practically my parts and I hate looking like a fool.
I’m glad Jill saved the day!
You changed your pic! Love it!
LOL….I can totally picture this entire event.
I’m pretty sure I work across the street from said wine shop/coffee house/bakery.
So, did Jill get carded?
Hmm…that’s interesting that many of you have never heard of “carry out” before. Must be regional. And we must be lushes considering we actually have a “term” for getting other people to buy you alcohol, lol!
Jessica–we went to Barriques. Is that the place you’re thinking of? And you know what–after all that, Jill did not get carded!! She blamed it on turning 30, lol!
Yet another fun story!
jbhat
I loved this post! Haha-hilarious!
I would have never thought the coffe shop/bakery/liqour store as a triple threat, but then again, I’ve never thought of their being in existance either! lol.
You did give her a little sumthin’ for her troubles like all those without cards do right? I mean it’s only fair.
Connoisseur. Much better word than hoarder…or alcoholic. I was nervous you might have wanted to check me into the nearest AA meeting.
I don’t think we ever let our stock go to less than a case. What if there’s an emergency and you can’t buy wine for a month? :giggle
Ha! Too funny, I’m glad you got such a thrill. Hope she was compensated well
Maybe some sweet bakery treats!
this is hilarious! thanks for sharing!