As I near the end of my pregnancy-induced sobriety, I thought it only fitting to reflect back on these past nine months spent without my best friends Chardonnay, Pinot Noir, and Shiraz.
I have not had one alcoholic drink since finding out I was pregnant–no “just a half glass” of red wine, or even “a little sip” of G’s beer. I’m well aware that many people go through their entire pregnancy without having a drink–but those people aren’t me. And I’m willing to bet they didn’t have a bottle a night nightly wine habit to kick.
The decision to remain alcohol-free during my first trimester was a no-brainer. Basically, if I wanted my child to have a brain–and what future nuclear physicist can function without one?–I had to retire my corkscrew.
When we announced our pregnancy, one of the first questions I got from people was, “How hard was it to quit drinking?” My honest answer: “Not hard at all.” And I didn’t even have morning sickness to help me out! I didn’t feel pregnant at all, but I still had no problem with this shift in thinking. The truth is you eliminate it as an option, and that’s that.
After successfully making it through the first trimester and knowing that our baby was developing right on track and that everything looked good, the alcohol question came up again. I’ve heard from many people, “Oh, just one little drink won’t hurt anything!” Or, “The baby’s past the point where alcohol would effect her.” Or my personal favorite, “Your mother drank all throughout her pregnancy with you, and you turned out just fine!”
To be honest, I hadn’t exactly planned on staying alcohol-free during my pregnancy. I totally thought I would be one of those women who would have a small glass of wine “here and there” toward the end. But here’s the thing–I couldn’t shake the feeling that it just wasn’t a good decision. For me.
I heard about this “10-10-10 decision-making rule” a while ago, and it’s something that’s stuck with me. Basically it comes down to this–when faced with a decision, ask yourself the following question: How will this effect me 10 minutes from now, 10 months from now, and 10 years from now? Sure I could have just one small glass of wine, and I know the moment it slid down my throat and warmed my belly it would be sheer bliss.
But 10 minutes later?
Knowing me, 10 minutes later I’d be feeling guilty as hell over the possibility that I may have harmed my baby. Or at the very least gave her a little baby buzz. And what if she liked it? Would giving her her first taste of wine before she even had her first taste of AIR turn her into a little baby alcoholic? Or give her a sixth finger? Or worst of all make her stupid??
And then of course my guilt trip snowballs into thinking that 10 months from now I could be dealing with a little fetal alcohol syndrome baby, and 10 years from now I’d be checking her into rehab.
Bottom line: it’s just not worth it.
And let’s be honest. I don’t want just one drink. I want ten.
I’ll gladly wait, thank you very much.
Now all this is not to say that I think it’s criminal for a woman to have a drink while she’s pregnant. To each her own. I’m just sharing how I feel about the subject matter for me, and pass no judgement on the choices other women make in the matter.
Okay, that’s a lie.
If your pregnant ass is bellied up to a bar and guzzling a bottle of tequila, I’ll definitely be passing judgement.
I’m only human female.
I think it is an excellent choice!
LB
I haven’t had any alcohol yet either. I’m with you… I don’t want one glass, I went to drink an entire bottle of wine! So why tease myself with one? :o)
I love a good white wine myself and when I finally do get pregnant, it’ll be sad to give it up. Although sushi will be harder to release for nine months than wine. When I found out sushi was a no-no while reading pregnancy books, I think I curled up and started bawling.
Yeah, my main reason for completely abstaining from alcohol was the same as yours – a half a glass just isn’t going to cut it for me š
It’s 100% a change of thinking. Drinking isn’t even an option. However I will say that the holiday’s have KILLED me. I was insanely jealous of all the wine drinkers over Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year’s. Ugh. And I did have a sip, so you have more will-power than I do. š
I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I’m glad the holiday’s are over for that reason alone. Now I just need to make it til May!
You’ll be drinking in a day or two š
Good for you for getting through the last 9 months without your “friends” (hehe)! You made it!
Are you an AA candidate or something?? You sure talk like one!
And fyi, no beer (or wine) is not allowed during breastfeeding, against popular belief, beer does not help the production of more milk.
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My thoughts exactly. And think how much we will savor that first sip of wine — so worth the wait! Curious, though, for your thoughts on drinking while nursing (if you plan to nurse)? I know a glass here and there is okay but I wonder if I will have the same guilt about it….
I didn’t drink either, even though people told me it would be ok. I didn’t think it was. And 5.5 months later, I am still breastfeeding. I allowed myself one glass of wine on New Year’s after Brayden had gone to bed. But even though he has been sleeping through the night since week 5, I just can’t bring myself to drink, even though I KNOW that the alcohol would be out of my system before morning. You just never know. Good for you! I can’t wait for another glass of wine, but I don’t want to be selfish either.
There’s so much information out there you just have to choose what’s best for you. I’m ttc and I have already given up my coffee and I trying to cut back on wine too
I also went 100% alcohol free my entire pregnancy (minus the glass of wine before I knew we were a few days pregnant!)…and I’m also a huge wino that had a big habit!. I missed the wine…but it really was just not worth it at all….and it wasn’t hard at all either. I just knew I wanted the boys to be as healthy as possible and I was their temporary house!
Believe me, once you start to have your wine again you’ll enjoy it even more (if that’s even possible!)
Though I’m also BFF’s with Sauvingnon Blanc and Pinot Noir, I know that someday, when I am pregnant, it will be a no-brainer for me to part with them for 9 months. It still baffles me that women can get to a mark of their pregnancy and think it’s OK for a glass of wine or beer now and then….I mean, really? But maybe I’m too judgemental!
Well said, and funny too.
jbhat
I don’t know if you wrote this just to be funny or not. I like me some wine too…sometime too much but I am much older. I think it is very admirable of you to want to protect your wee one, But you now need to think about protecting your liver and cutting down your chances of breast cancer. A bottle a night is waaaay too much. A girl your size shouldn’t have more than one glass a day (exceptions are ok occasionally) You don’t want your little girl thinking that drinking is an everyday ok thing. I know you think I am a granny busy body but I do care. Good luck and don’t name her Chardonay.
Sounds like a good choice you made! š Although I’m sure it was a hard one to follow through on sometimes! You don’t have too much longer to go though!
Your post is very timely and much appreciated! I took a test on NYE just to make sure before we went out, and it was positive. I’m totally excited to be incubating, but it was a huge bummer to not be able to drink on New Years. I was also worried that my friends would know the minute I turned down wine, so I’ve said that I’m giving up alcohol until April 1st so that I can lose 15 lbs. So far it’s working and nobody has suspected anything yet!
Love this and very well written D! I got the dreaded period on the 31st, so I was definitely ringing in the New Year with my wine in hand and a couple of beers after that, LOL! Hoping January will be our month!
I craved margaritas so badly in the summer time when I was pregnant. And then when I had the baby, they didn’t sound good at all.
Just be careful with that first drink after having baby. I made the mistake of having mine at a company party and ended up much more tipsy than I had planned! Oops!
Might as well cross it off the list of things to potentially worry about. Being a new parent is worrisome enough without wondering if you might have prevented any problems that do arise.
I’m so excited for you and the upcoming weeks! This is such an amazing time–enjoy it.
Good luck!
@jenni–I thought the holidays would be tough for me too, but surprisingly they weren’t. I’m glad you made it through!
@Anonymous–You must be new here. My love of wine is one of my favorite topics.
@Good Egg Hunting–Yep, I have the same feelings about drinking while nursing, so although this baby was due YESTERDAY, it will still be awhile before I’ll be enjoying my wine again. Once her feedings are spaced far enough apart I’ll have a glass of wine small enough to be safely out of my system before her next feeding. I’ve waited this long, I can wait a little more!
@nanab–The “bottle of wine a night” part was totally a joke, but thanks for your concern.
@elizabeth–Congratulations on your pregnancy! And great thinking on your “excuse” for not drinking on NYE–very clever!
@Amber–Oh yes, once we were TTC I made sure to greet every one of those dreaded periods with a drink. It was my one small consolation. Hope you get your BFP soon!
@Tara–I had a brief margarita craving over the summer, too. I bought a margarita bucket mix at the grocery store and instead of adding tequila I added Sprite and then froze it. It turned out really yummy! It’s what me and my other pregnant and breastfeeding friends drank at our annual 4th of July party and everyone loved it!
@Heather Griffith Brewer–I totally agree. And thanks!
Wow Dusty, I can’t believe you are near the end of your pregnancy. It seems like just yesterday you were posting about finding out the baby’s sex and buying a pink beanie. I’ve got 6 weeks left and can’t wait to enjoy a nice glass of red too. I will miss your fabulous maternity fashion.
Take care,
Lisa
I don’t drink, so it’s not something I’ve had to think about during my pregnancy, but I did give up pop/caffine during my first pregnancy and a whole year of nursing (trust me, I had one can of Dr. P and it totally affected her through my milk – one night of sleeplessnes convinced me to wait longer!) This second time around, I have been good up till now (the sixth month) but must admit to some caffine drinking. But I do read everywhere that a cup of coffee a day is ok, and there is WAY more caffine in coffee than a can of pop (not a coffee drinker either – I’m just weird). So while I know it’s not the same thing, kudos to you for your self-control! LauraC
I assumed you were kidding and I am so relieved you were. I really enjoy your post and like I said in an earlier post, I am really into the name game. Can’t wait to hear
Ok I had a dream last night that I was in NYC for some big party and got totally wasted (while pregnant) and I blame this post, LOL! I must have read this right before I went to bed. I woke up thinking “thank God that was just a dream”!
Just found your blog a couple of weeks ago and love it! And I LOVE this post. With my first pregnancy I had a couple of sips here and there – when my husband try a new beer and said it was fantastic or if he had an exceptionally good glass of wine – I see NOTHING wrong with a glass of wine now and then but just couldn’t bring myself to do it. This time around I’m thinking I might be able to bring myself to do it…especially since I’m well into my third trimester and SO READY TO HAVE THIS BABY!!…we shall see – Tminus 6 weeks and counting!
LOL! Sorry Kent!
@Amy–Thanks for your sweet compliments! And best wishes to you on these next 6 weeks. I hope they go quickly for you!
I was debating sending you a wine basket as congrats about Kate but Matt talked me out of it.
Congratulations on what feels best for you. For others that do choose to have an occasional glass of wine with a meal while pregnant, the danger to the baby has been shown over and over to be non existent. Babies born to moderate wine consumers are healthier and more intelligent than those born to abstainers or abusers of wine, or so medical research has shown.
There are a number of excellent articles on healthy wine and pregnancy; here’s mine: http://johncesano.wordpress.com/2010/01/02/wine-and-pregnancy-a-healthy-mix/
Again, not drinking and feeling good about it is also better than drinking and feeling bad about it.
Congratulations on your pregnancy, and I admire your thoughtfulness.
John
Thanks for your perspective John. I think a lot of pregnant women who have chosen to imbibe would find your article very reassuring. As for me, I particularly appreciate this part of your comment: “Again, not drinking and feeling good about it is also better than drinking and feeling bad about it” Thank you for your thoughtfulness and your respectful comment–I really appreciate it!