My Love Language

Kate’s 2nd birthday party is this weekend and if there was a font called “bursting with excitement” I’d be using it right now.  I am DEEP into party planning, decorating, and all-around GOING OVERBOARD mode–and the best part is G didn’t even attempt to reign me in (like he did last year) with the party plans!  He knows his breath is better spent blowing up the 2,368 balloons I politely tossed his way when he reluctantly asked, “Is there anything you need me to do?”

What’s the point of throwing a big party that she’ll never remember?
Why am I spending all this time and energy for a few hours of fun?
Aren’t you supposed to be saving up for a new car right now?

Like any sane person, these thoughts do cross my mind.  I consider them skeptically, try them on to see how they fit…and then I quickly discard them onto my “no thank you, not for me” pile along with:

You should really stop swearing.
That report only said a glass of wine a day was good for you–not the whole bottle.
Watching The Bachelor makes you lame.
It’s called “a budget.”  Stick to it.

When it comes to planning Kate’s birthday party, one idea sparks the next one, and then that idea sparks another one, and (whoa!) if we did this to it it’d be even better, and oh my goodness ALL OF THESE THINGS MUST HAPPEN or I’ll never sleep again!!

I can’t help it.

G hasn’t exactly come right out and asked me why I’m taking my crazy and blowing up the house with it, but I know he’s been thinking it, and until recently the only response I had was, “Because I love her SO MUCH!”

I’m not exactly sure why I have this tendency to take it to a whole ‘nother level when it comes to things like this, but during my many hours of assembling favor bags and picking out the perfect ribbon, I’ve had some time to ponder it.

I heard of this concept called “love language” through conversations with friends.  The basic concept, from what I’ve gathered, is that people have their own way of expressing love; not everyone does it in the same fashion.  Some people show their love verbally, showering “I love you”s daily.  Others seldom say it, but show it through their actions.  Some people say it with gifts…, etc.

While I’ve never read the book/taken the quiz/done whatever it is I’d need to do to know what the hell I’m actually talking about, I’ve recently come to the conclusion that my love language is “the grand gesture.”

I often joke that I’m not a very good friend.  The people I love most in life will probably tell you they hardly ever hear from me–and it’s true.  Unless you live with me or work with me, chances are you’re only hearing from me maybe once a month.  Often even less.  (And it’s a pretty safe bet you’re the one who had to initiate the contact.)  I hate this about myself, and I’ve tried to change it, but the fact is I suck at keeping in touch with people.

This doesn’t mean I love or think about them any less.

I may not be the girl you call for a daily check-in, but I’m the girl you can turn to for anything, anytime, anywhere.  When I do something I put all my energy into it.  When it matters, I’m there.  When I show up, you’re going to remember it.  And when the most beloved girl in my universe has a birthday, I’m going to throw her the biggest, best-est celebration I know how.

That is me.

That is how I show my love.

I can’t change the fact that I hate talking on the phone and suck at email, or that I drink too much wine while watching lame reality TV, but I do know one thing:  If I love you, I’m going to show it–and probably in a big way.

So when G turned to me the other night, after a particularly overboard day of party planning, and said, “I don’t know how you’re going to top this one next year.”  I just laughed and responded, “That’s what you said last year!”

Throwing yet another bigger, better, best-est party next year for the most beloved girl in my universe?

Please.  I’m not worried.

I speak the language.

Update: Click the graphics below to check out Kate’s “Sesame Street” themed 2nd birthday party! 

Kate's Sesame Street Birthday Party |

The Making of Kate's Sesame Street Birthday Party |



  1. 1

    her party last year was amazing and I cannot WAIT to see what you do this year!!!

    my daughter’s party is on the 28th and I’ve put waaaaaaaaaaaaaay more thought into it even than my wedding!! LOL

    Happy Bday Precious Kate :)

  2. 2

    My love language is “grand gesture planner, but master procrastinator”

  3. 3

    Great post, I have tears. My baby is turning 2 soon and I’ve been party planning for months. Like yours, my husband thinks it’s insane. Your post completely sums up why I do it. Can’t wait to see pics! Happy Birthday, Kate!

  4. 4
    Anonymous says:

    Wonderful, and so well said. And you know what, she WILL remember it. Maybe not years from now (pictures will remind her though), but she’ll remember it the next day, and the day after that, and the day after that….she will recall your grand, loving gesture with pleasure. She knows you love her by ALL the things you do. But this big, good thing will also make her (and you!) really happy.

    I can’t wait to see what you come up with.


  5. 5

    I LOVE it and I can’t wait to see the pictures of all your hard work and the beautiful smile on Kate’s face :) Have a great time this weekend and Happy Birthday Kate!!!

  6. 6

    LOVE this post and even though I don’t have kids yet, I understand. I speak the same language. I get it all…the lack of ability to keep in touch, but being 100% wholeheartedly ‘there’ when I’m there. And, for the record, when I have kids, my man will probably look at me and say the exact same stuff G does…but know it’s just me, loving 100% through grand gestures! =)

  7. 7

    so well written! I love each word you chose to tell us about yourself. Enjoy the party. She’s one lucky girl.

  8. 8

    Have a great birthday party… I can’t believe she’ll be 2! My oldest will be 3 in February and it just seems so…old.

  9. 9

    That is SO ME too! The friend deal, the wine, and the PARTY PLANNING. Pinterest helps with that these days 😉

  10. 10

    You totally nailed yourself with this description and me too. You know I speak this language as well. :) We’re soulmates like that.

    K’s party is gonna be spectacular! I cannot wait til it all comes together and hear about the end result.

  11. 11

    I’ve read the book and taken the quiz, and it sounds like to me that you are a “gift giver,” which isn’t limited to gifts that come with a bow. As a lover of gift giving (and receiving) myself, gifts aren’t necessarily created equal. It’s the thought and effort behind the gift that counts. So while I don’t love getting (or giving) diamond earrings, I am touched by someone who knows me so well that they get my favorite, but broken, earrings fixed for me. It’s the thought that counts, and I think you are channeling your love for Kate through this grand party-planning, which to me, seems like a gift. What do you think? Do I have it all wrong?

  12. 12

    I’ve just really started the party planning over here, can’t wait to see what you put together for Kate!!

    I’m similar in the fact that I’m terrible at keeping up with friends via phone or e-mail, but I swear it doesn’t mean I love them any less. My friends mean the world to me and I need to find more ways to show it!

  13. 13

    I can’t wait to see what you come up with this year. And hey, for me, wine helps fuel creativity, so maybe that also explains why you go “overboard”. Lots of wine means lots of creativeness. :)

  14. 14

    love this. no kids yet, however the “wine + bachelor” comments mean that if we lived in the same area, pretty sure we’d be best friends.

    Have a wonderful celebration.

  15. 15
    Anonymous says:

    This post makes me LOL, guess you don’t love me :(

  16. 16
    Anonymous says:

    “When I show up, you’re going to remember it”–love that line. What a wonderful mother you are Dusty!

  17. 17

    And when you take the “love language” and add motherhood to the mix, it goes to a whole other place. The sky’s the limit! :)

    Happy 2nd Birthday, Kate! So excited to see her party this year!

  18. 18

    Hi Dusty! My name is Taja and I have been following your blog for a few months now. I just wanted to take the chance to introduce myself and let you know how much I enjoy your posts. You make it clear every time you write how much you love Kate. She is such a beautiful little girl with a very talented Momma! Good luck with all of the party planning! I’m sure it will all turn out amazing.

  19. 19

    yes. I totally get this! Have a great time this weekend! Can’t wait to read all about it!

  20. 20

    Thank you so much everyone! The party was FANTASTIC and I’m so excited to share pics! We went with a Sesame Street theme, and it was so much fun. G and I are finally recovered, and I hope to get a post up soon!

    @Ginger–Good luck with Clara’s party! I’m sure everything will turn out beautifully!

    LOL Jennifer! Love that.

    @Megan–How do we make the growing stop?! HELP!

    @Audrey–Oh yes, Pinterest is the best!

    @Beth–We are soul mates. No doubt.

    @KellyB–Yep, that sounds about right. Thank you for the insight!

    @Lindsey–I totally agree with the wine = creativity statement. You hit the nail on the head with that one, hahaha!

    @Ann E–I’m sure you’re right. 😉

    Give it up, Amy. It’s time.

    @Taja–Thank you for saying hi, and for such a lovely comment! So happy to have you as a reader.

  21. 21

    My my we are cut from the same cloth. I also could have written this as Beth said. Glad to be part of your wonderful cloth! 😉

  22. 22

    seriously, i love this!!! you sure outdid yourself and im sure Kate loved it! the balloons are one of my favs!
    this gets me all excited to plan my little man’s first party (you know, in may!) haha
    you can bet your bippy that you will see one or more of your party ideas thrown into the mix.
    thanks for sharing your party with us!!

  23. 23
    Allison H. says:

    Hi! I just found your blog via Bower Power and I have to say that this post – especially the part about not beging good at keeping in touch – resonated so much with me. That is one of my biggest faults. You have totally inspired me to write my first blog post! I’ve been going through a lot recently, and your post really hit home. Thank you so so much! (I’ll send you the post when I have the guts to write it).

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