Kate’s 2nd birthday party is this weekend and if there was a font called “bursting with excitement” I’d be using it right now. I am DEEP into party planning, decorating, and all-around GOING OVERBOARD mode–and the best part is G didn’t even attempt to reign me in (like he did last year) with the party plans! He knows his breath is better spent blowing up the 2,368 balloons I politely tossed his way when he reluctantly asked, “Is there anything you need me to do?”
What’s the point of throwing a big party that she’ll never remember?
Why am I spending all this time and energy for a few hours of fun?
Aren’t you supposed to be saving up for a new car right now?
Like any sane person, these thoughts do cross my mind. I consider them skeptically, try them on to see how they fit…and then I quickly discard them onto my “no thank you, not for me” pile along with:
You should really stop swearing.
That report only said a glass of wine a day was good for you–not the whole bottle.
Watching The Bachelor makes you lame.
It’s called “a budget.” Stick to it.
When it comes to planning Kate’s birthday party, one idea sparks the next one, and then that idea sparks another one, and (whoa!) if we did this to it it’d be even better, and oh my goodness ALL OF THESE THINGS MUST HAPPEN or I’ll never sleep again!!
I can’t help it.
G hasn’t exactly come right out and asked me why the hell I’m taking my crazy and blowing up the house with it, but I know he’s been thinking it, and until recently the only response I had was, “Because I love her SO MUCH!”
I’m not exactly sure why I have this tendency to take it to a whole ‘nother level when it comes to things like this, but during my many hours of assembling favor bags and picking out the perfect ribbon, I’ve had some time to ponder it.
I heard of this concept called “love language” through conversations with friends. The basic concept, from what I’ve gathered, is that people have their own way of expressing love; not everyone does it in the same fashion. Some people show their love verbally, showering “I love you”s daily. Others seldom say it, but show it through their actions. Some people say it with gifts…, etc.
While I’ve never read the book/taken the quiz/done whatever it is I’d need to do to know what the hell I’m actually talking about, I’ve recently come to the conclusion that my love language is “the grand gesture.”
I often joke that I’m not a very good friend. The people I love most in life will probably tell you they hardly ever hear from me–and it’s true. Unless you live with me or work with me, chances are you’re only hearing from me maybe once a month. Often even less. (And it’s a pretty safe bet you’re the one who had to initiate the contact.) I hate this about myself, and I’ve tried to change it, but the fact is I suck at keeping in touch with people.
This doesn’t mean I love or think about them any less.
I may not be the girl you call for a daily check-in, but I’m the girl you can turn to for anything, anytime, anywhere. When I do something I put all my energy into it. When it matters, I’m there. When I show up, you’re going to remember it. And when the most beloved girl in my universe has a birthday, I’m going to throw her the biggest, best-est celebration I know how.
That is me.
That is how I show my love.
I can’t change the fact that I hate talking on the phone and suck at email, or that I drink too much wine while watching lame reality TV, but I do know one thing: If I love you, I’m going to show it–and probably in a big way.
So when G turned to me the other night, after a particularly overboard day of party planning, and said, “I don’t know how you’re going to top this one next year.” I just laughed and responded, “That’s what you said last year!”
Throwing yet another bigger, better, best-est party next year for the most beloved girl in my universe?
Please. I ain’t worried.
I speak the language.