Oscar Night was a lot different in the G&D household this year compared to last year. Last year I had some girlfriends over for a fabulous Oscar party complete with evening gowns, a red carpet, candy buffet, games, wine, and martinis.
This year I watched all by myself, in my spit-up stained 100% elastic clothing, while eating Ramen noodles out of a mug.
I was also in bed by 9pm which means I only managed to stay awake for the first hour of the show, so I had to catch up on the rest of it today.
What a difference a year makes.
Since my friends weren’t there to share in my Oscar joy, dislikes, and all-around insights, I’ll share them with you:
First of all, I’m pissed about the red carpet pre-show on ABC. It was more of a 30 minute commercial for upcoming movies than the “who’s who” of the red carpet that I was expecting. I should’ve stuck with Seacrest.
I don’t get why Doogie Howser did the opening number when Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin were the hosts.
George Clooney is the new Jack Nicholson. Somebody give that man a pair of sunglasses.
Did anyone think that UP–the only animated movie also nominated for Best Picture–wouldn’t win Best Animated Feature? Please.
And speaking of Best Picture nominees, I felt like having 10 nominees this year sort of cheapened the nomination. Best of 5 is one thing, but Best of 10? Come on. Couldn’t they have narrowed it down? Granted I only saw a few of the films nominated, but I’m guessing had I seen them all I would have been able to ax that list in half no problem. I’d have started with District 9. G rented it a couple weeks ago and I only made it about 20 minutes in before deciding that picking at my toes was much more entertaining…and less gross.
Talyor Lautner, Zac Efron, Miley Cyrus, Amanda Seyfried–I’m sorry, but these are people who should not have been on last night’s Oscars. What happened to paying your dues first? Damn entitled kids.
Molly Ringwald looked terrified in her tribute to John Hughes. Maybe she was worried someone would come out of the bathroom with her undies?
I can’t believe Macaulay Culkin actually made it on to an Oscar stage. I now owe someone $50.
Don’t you think by now Kathy Bates has enough money to make sure her gray hair looks gray and not blue?
Oh Charlize. Oh no, no, no…
For a second there I thought Elizabeth Banks and Demi Moore were wearing the exact same dress, only in different colors. In fact, I’m still not sure they weren’t…
I was so happy to see Sandra Bullock win for Best Actress. I was rooting for her the entire time. I told G it’s like Two Buck Chuck winning a wine tasting competition–it just makes an everyday girl like me smile.
Did you see Kathryn Bigelow’s arms?? That woman deserved to win two Oscars for those arms alone.
I was sad that Brangelina wasn’t there. It just wasn’t the same without them. It was like Prom Night without the King and Queen.
Since I missed most of the red carpet arrivals, my picks for best and worst dressed are rather limited. My favorites were Penelope Cruz, Helen Mirren, and Queen Latifah, and I absolutely hated what SJP, Charlize Theron, Diane Kruger, and Faith Hill wore. I initially had both Sandra Bullock and Vera Farmiga on my worst dressed list because I really didn’t like their gowns when I first saw them, but they ended up growing on me throughout the night.
Overall Oscar Night was the 3+ hour Meryl Streep and Jack Nicholson George Clooney ass-kissing that we’ve all come to expect and love. I’m already looking forward to next year!
I didn’t watch the awards last night, but I totally agree with you when it comes to kids being at the Oscar’s – it just shouldn’t happen!
Couldn’t of summed it up any better than you! TOTALLY agree with all of the above!
1. District 9 rocked. One of the best movies of the year. But a lot of my friends didn’t like it either. Oh well..In my book, any movie that makes me cringe, get angry, get sad, become hopeful, root for the main character, think about its implications in today’s society and humankind, all in two short hours is a good movie.
2. I barely saw the hosts all night – was just strange.
3. I think they made 10 this year because too many complaints were made in past years about movies that were overlooked – such as Dark Knight last year. Also, being nominated helps movies do better in theaters. Money money money.
4. Molly doesn’t have eyelids. Apparently.
5. Loved Bigelow’s arms as well. That reminds me, I got to get back to lifting weights.
6. This is probably the longest comment I’ve ever left on any blog, ever. I blame it on the fact that I didn’t go to a oscars party! Invite me to your next one, please.
I’m so sad award season is over.
Your comments are hilarious AND insightful. I watched after the kiddos went down. Love DVR–no commercials or interpretive dance numbers for me! But I am bummed because we were out of wine. It’s ridiculous to watch the Oscars without wine. What was I thinking?
jbhat
My biggest take away from the Oscars was that Macauley Caulkin is engaged to Mila Kunis. I just can’t wrap my head around that one.
Beyond that, Miley Cyrus needs to invest in some calcium supplements and pull her shoulders back.
George Clooney irks me – he’s too hot on himself. Meh.
That pale girl who was with the teenage werewolf just seems out of it and pissed at fame ALL THE TIME.
Aaaaand I thought Sandra Bullock looked stunning. I love her.
lol — hilarious. I was with you in spirit. No spit up but plenty of dog hair and elastic at our house.
Molly Ringwald. YES. WTF?
And IMHO, Doogie should’ve just hosted. He’s the bomb diggity.
The Mister and I were soooo excited to see Baldwin & Martin (wow.. doesn’t that sounds like a 1940’s variety act??), but we lost interst in the first 10 minutes.
I agree with Allison, Doogie should have hosted. Love. him. muchly.
LB
I agree with most everything you’ve said! Except… District 9 was a ‘his movie choice’ night. But I actually really liked it. And… Diane Kruger can do no wrong in my book, I just love her!
What IS Molly Ringwald doing these days? And, McCauly Caulkin actually looked like a serial killer to me – he was scary!!
What IS Molly Ringwald doing these days? And, McCauly Caulkin actually looked like a serial killer to me – he was scary!!
Your comments were spot on! OMG, what did we used to do before the DVR? I always start an hour show twenty minutes after it starts so I can breeze through the commercials.
This post cracked me up! I didn’t watch (other plans kept me away & I’m not really a movie buff) but you made me feel like I was. Funny and insightful is right. You rock.
OMG Charlize Theron’s dress and makeup looked horrible – she’s so much better than that…I was sad!
This post made me chuckle, what a difference a year makes indeed! if it makes you feel better, i was putting my hair in a roller set during the show…and then watched my dog pee on the floor right in front of me…damn poodle. I’m with you on the ten best film nominations. i barely remember what was nominated, and out of all of them, i only saw precious–which was a fantastic albeit difficult to watch film. all in all, i’m ecstatic that avatar did not win. i know i’m one of the few people in the world who hasn’t seen it, wasn’t interested in seeing it, and still can’t understand why ppl love it so darn much. but that’s a topic for another day. While i was routing for Gabourey to win, I knew Sandra would take it, and that’s still a win in my book. now i should probably rent the blind side and all the other nominated films that looked remotely interesting.
I agree with all your Oscar comments. Except, District 9 makes you wanna run screaming from shrimp but it was a really good movie. Molly Ringwald looked a LOT like a terrified Carol Burnett.
McCauley Culkin looked greasy and gross.
Twilight “Bella” really should try smiling. Her sour puss REALLY bugs me!
I totally agree about Molly Ringwald, I thought she was going to fall down!
Your words are wise
Neil Patrick Harris (aka Doogie Howser) hosted the Emmy’s this past year, and did a really impressive opening song that was a bit longer and more memorable than the one he did for the Oscar’s. I’m sure it’s on youtube somewhere… And he hosted the Emmy’s because he did a great job hosting the Tony’s before that. Sadly I think the Oscars are still a bit too Big Time for him, I think he’d be way better than Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin though… but I guess he’s just not famous enough, as evidenced by the fact that you still call him Doogie Howser… He’s really hysterical in “How I Met Your Mother”, he makes that show rock.
I definitely agree with you on the dresses! š
awesome recap – loved Kathryn’s arms, and girlfriend’s almost SIXTY!!! she looks 10 years younger than her ex’s new wife, who is actually 10 years younger than Kathryn!
For the most part I enjoyed the show. Definately happy that Sandra B won! I loved that Barbara Walters finished doing her run at 29 years, very quirky! But sad to see her go!
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