Where Did the Time Go?

All throughout this pregnancy when people ask, “When are you due?” I reply, “January 4th.” It’s become an automatic response–one I give without even thinking about it: January 4th. January 4th. January 4th. Well a couple of weeks ago someone asked me, “How much longer do you have left?” I was about to spit out my standard “January 4th” but realized this question required a different answer. One I had to think about for a second. “Six weeks,” I finally replied.

And then I nearly passed out.

Six weeks?


When did this happen? Where did the time go? I haven’t even finished What To Expect When You’re Expecting yet, and it’s almost time to prepare for the next stage: What To Expect When You Have a Crying Baby & A Hangover. We still need to get the car seats installed and inspected! And wash all her clothes and bedding in that special baby laundry soap at least once before we move on to giving everything the sniff test and deciding it’ll do. I still have to finish the nursery! And stock up on onesies, and burp cloths, and diapers, and wine! I STILL NEED TO STOP SWEARING! AND GET THE MOM HAIRCUT!

Where the hell heck did the time go?

When we first found out we had a baby on the way, nine months seemed like an eternity. But now I’m wishing we had another nine months! At that time, five (including me) of the fifteen women at my office were expecting. Three of them have already had their babies–guess who’s next in line?


We’re now 3 1/2 weeks from D-Day and I’m feeling a little more prepared. The car seats are installed, the wine rack is stocked, and I’m almost finished reading Sippy Cups Are Not for Chardonnay. Excitement is definitely out-weighing anxiety at this point.

That was, of course, until someone recently pointed out that January 4th may be my due date, but this baby could easily come any day now.

Asshole. Er, I mean doo-doo head.

(I may need an extension on a few things.)


  1. 1

    Don’t worry, the baby won’t start repeating things until she’s at least a year old. Hopefully you can let the cussing slide another 12 months.

  2. 2

    Wow, it really is getting close! I’m so excited for you!

  3. 3

    Good luck pretty lady! I have 17 weeks left and I’m already starting to freak out.

    I’m sure you’re way more prepared than you are letting on. Enjoy the last few weeks of your pregnancy!

  4. 4

    LOl! You crack me up! FYI…my co-worker who is due 4 days ahead of me (Dec 20th) is in labor as we speak.


  5. 5

    And this is why I read your blog first thing in the A.M.!!! :)

  6. 6

    Hehe I can’t believe it’s so soon! You know on the flip side, she could just as equally be late not early!! extra week to prepare? maybe?

  7. 7

    Wow – time has certainly flown by D! I remember how anxious I was feeling at about this time – don’t worry you are going to do great! What an amazing way to celebrate a new year!

  8. 8

    good luck! you’ll do great!

  9. 9

    What exactly is a Mom haircut?

  10. 10

    I’m in the same boat here. My due date is January 24th (which still sounds like quite a while but isn’t really ;-)) and it feels like I haven’t gotten even half of the stuff done.
    I’m at risk for having a preemie since my first one was 5 weeks early (we were so not ready when that happened and didn’t have anything done at that point, so you’d think we’re learning from our “mistakes”), so just knowing that it could pretty much happen every day now makes me really nervous.

    Luckily they give you diapers and clothes at the hospital and you said you have your car seat installed… so you should be fine for the first few days šŸ˜‰


  11. 11

    funny, i was just thinking the same thing about you! how did you get to 35 weeks??? i don’t know that you can ever feel completely ready for your babe’s arrival, at least i didn’t…but my guy did arrive 2 weeks BEFORE his due date… :)

  12. 12

    My little guy was three weeks early, so it’s totally possible that you’re looking at days, not weeks šŸ˜‰

    However, you might kick yourself for wishing for extra time if you end up being a week late. Although I doubt you’d be capable of kicking yourself.

  13. 13

    HA! My daughter was due on January 5th (’08) I had her on Dec. 24th. I just kind of figured she’d come late since she was my first and everyone says your first comes late. Boy was I surprised!! Anyway doo doo head was right!!! Any time girl!!!

  14. 14

    Ha!! You crack me up! Good Luck in the coming weeks! You’ll be great!

  15. 15

    i loooove your blog and truly hope that you have the most amazing last weeks of pregnancy!

    Saludos from Chile,


  16. 16


    This post made me laugh out loud a few times.

    Damn tootin’ (I mean darn).

    I’ve had to curb the sailor mouth myself – especially since Anna is starting to be more verbal. I’d hate for her to blurt out “Sunuvabitch” at her next pedi appt.

    Anywho, not to scare you or anything, but Anna made her grand entrance into this world three weeks early. So, pack yo’ bags, honey, it’ll be here before you can even blink! Eeeee!

  17. 17

    I’m sorry but I laughed out loud at “What To Expect When You Have a Crying Baby & A Hangover”. Hilarious! I think you’ll feel a twinge of unpreparedness until the end but you’ll be great!

  18. 18

    I wish you were on TV or something. You are really funny (and dear, too, which makes your humor even better.) I’d totally watch your show.

    First babies are always early…or late! You never know. My due date for our first kiddo was 1/14, but he came on 12/31. Best New Year’s Eve of my life. Truly!

    Well, ready or not, that baby’s coming out. So exciting!


  19. 19

    I don’t think I’ll ever finish What to Expect When Your Expecting. That book is so darn LONG!

  20. 20

    LOL! You are so funny! If you think your pregnancy has gone by quickly, wait until baby girl is here! Time will fly so fast you won’t believe it. Enjoy your last few weeks you won’t be the same person after she is here!

  21. 21

    I have read your blog for a while now and cannot even remember how I came across it, but thank goodness I did! I love the way you write and take light of life in general…it is very refreshing! I have read all those cutesy mommy books and think you should join them and write one too! I would buy it!!! Good luck over the next few weeks!

  22. 22

    You’ll be just fine!

    Then again January 4 was my SIL’s due date, but my darling niece couldn’t wait another minute and made her grand arrival last Sunday!

    Word to the wise- get essential stuff taken care of now; you never know when you will need it! haha

  23. 23

    Thanks for your comments and well wishes everyone! I know G is hoping she comes early–he wouldn’t mind a 2009 tax break, lol!

    @Jami–Just a joke.

    @Natalie–I could totally see Anna doing that–along with giving her side eye, lol!

    @jbhat–You are too sweet; thank you! And I didn’t realize you had more than one baby. Is your most recent your second?

    @Windy City Kelleys–OMG, no kidding! That’s a lot of expectations, lol!

    @E–Oh my goodness, I know. It really has gone by so quickly. I’m so excited to meet our little girl, but I also think I’m really going to miss being pregnant.

    @Catherine Clare–That is so sweet of you to say; thank you so much!

    @Mandy–AWWW!! Congratulations to your SIL! What wonderful news!!

  24. 24

    I noticed that many ladies had posted their “early due date” stories so I thought I’d balance the playing field with my story.

    Oliver, my first baby, came 8 days AFTER my due date and that’s only after they had to go in after him via C-section! I like to tell people he’d still be in there if they hadn’t gone in after him! So yes you could be early but you could be late too… In all honesty, you’re not going to be totally ready so just try to enjoy these next few days/weeks until your bundle of joy arrives.

    And I can’t help giving you one last little piece of advice (are you sick of everyone’s free advice yet? :0) – don’t spend extra money on Dreft (the fancy baby detergent). Just start using one of the regular name brands “free and clear” or “natural” lines… Then you can wash the whole family’s laundry in the same soap! Just an idea!

    Good luck! You look fantastic! :0)

  25. 25

    I’ve been thinking of you more since you passed the last month, which means you have less than 4 weeks to go. And I just passed my halfway mark. Seems like an eternity till April will get here. What’s so great is that 38 weeks is full-term, so I was like, “OK, you can come NOW!” with our first. Who wants to be pregnant one extra second at nine months? Our daughter was born a week before her due date, at 39 weeks, and she was full-term, healthy, and perfect! Glad you’re feeling a bit more ready! LauraC

  26. 26

    Hi! I just found your blog. From what I have read so far, you are hilarious!! Can’t wait to read more.

  27. 27

    Just thought I would alert you most babies don’t need the specially marketed laundry soap…unless you find you have a baby with sensitive skin, whatever you use is fine by baby.

  28. 28

    lol – I love you. Just teach the babes “earmuffs”

  29. 29

    I second Allison – EARMUFFS! I’m hoping for an xmas baby!!

  30. 30

    You’re funny. I’m 10 weeks and it already seems like forever! I think I’m just anxious to get through the first trimester so I can let the cat out of the bag. Then maybe I can relax and enjoy. You seem to have had a really good pregnancy. I’m glad for you.

  31. 31

    @Christine–Thanks for the balance, and the tip!

    @LauraC–Thank you! And congrats on your second pregnancy–maybe this one will be a week early like your first, too! :crossing fingers:

    @mrs.mfc–Hi, and welcome! I’m glad you’re enjoying what you see! šŸ˜€

    @Andrea–Thanks for the tip! I already purchased one bottle which we’ll continue to use, but once it’s gone I’ll certainly be re-evaluating. That stuff’s expensive!

    @Allison & Melissa–I wasn’t thinking about earmuffs, lol! Thanks for the reminder!

    @Robyn–Thank you, and congrats on your pregnancy! I hope it goes well for you!

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